Seven Anger Control Techniques
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Anger can ruin your life. It can cost you your job and your marriage. It can destroy your relationships with you family, your friends, and your co-workers.
The problem is that every day things happen to us that bring out our anger. So it's critical that we learn to keep our temper under control. We need to do this for ourselves, and we need to do this so that our children can learn from our example.
Here are seven simple straight forward techniques you can use that will keep anger under control.
1. Get away from the location:
Walk away. When you are in a upsetting or frustrating situation and you feel anger is coming on, just walk away. Excuse yourself, go to the bathroom, do what ever you can do to leave the situation. Disengage. The great advantage of walking away is that even if you become angry, nothing will happen. You are by yourself, so no one will know that you are upset. You won't be able to say anything or do anything that you are going to regret later. Walking away is a great first step in controlling your anger and limiting the damage that it can do.
2. Diffuse your anger:
One of the best ways to diffuse your anger is to get physical. That does not mean hit your kids, which is one of the destructive ways some parents diffuse their anger. What I mean is to engage in some form of vigorous physical activity. Go for a walk, a run, lift weights, or do something else physical that will diffuse your emotions and get your mind off the problem. This will help you cool down. It will also give you some of the best work outs that you will ever have.
3. Get regular exercise:
This is a corollary to what we just mentioned. Strenuous exercise is a great technique to manage your anger and increase you tolerance threshold.
Getting regular vigorous exercise has a lot of advantages. You will feel younger and healthier. You will look better. You will also be able to dissipate the effects of the daily nagging frustrations that tend to add up over the course of the day. These minor irritations tend to build up and eat away at you until even a small incident can get you angry. By just setting up a regular exercise routine, you will find that things will not bother you quite as much and you will be much less prone to anger.
4. Keep calm:
You can control anger if you find a way to stay calm and relaxed throughout the day. There are many relaxation techniques you can use to stay calm and have positive 'down time'. Some of the more popular activities are yoga, deep breathing exercises, meditation, and so on.
5. Laugh:
Try to look at what is happening as if it were happening to someone else. Many times if you look at the difficult situations you are experiencing as an outsider would, what is happening will seem quite ludicrous. You can infuse humor in difficult situations and laugh at them rather than get offended or angry.
6. Judge favorably:
Most people who do things that anger you are not doing them maliciously. Usually if the person knew he was doing something to bother you, he wouldn't do it at all. The problem is that none of us weigh out how our actions effect others. What seems to you as a person who is inconsiderate and uncaring is probably someone who is just unaware that what he is doing is bothering you. Most people do not mean to offend you. Therefore, there is no good reason to become offended.
You should view most actions that bother or offend you as an oversight rather than a direct attack. If you do that, you will almost always be correct.
7. Be silent:
Words said in anger can cause a great deal of harm. What you say may be something you truly feel or may be something that you are just saying to hurt your attacker. Either way, it will usually be something that is not very palatable. Be careful of the words that come out of your mouth when you are angry. When you calm down you will probably have to eat them.
Bonus Technique: Take a cosmic perspective:
The world is full of serious problems. Global warming, nuclear waste, genocide, world hunger, etc. These are things that can have ramifications for centuries. Compare these to whatever happened that is making you angry. In ten years from now, is what you are facing right now going to make any difference to anybody? If not, then just let it go. There are a lot of bigger problems to worry about.
You should try to use some or all of these anger management techniques and tips and teach them to your children. They will help you and your family members control your anger and prevent you from damaging your relationships.
From India, Coimbatore
733* Share this article with a friend today...you know they need it.
Anger can ruin your life. It can cost you your job and your marriage. It can destroy your relationships with you family, your friends, and your co-workers.
The problem is that every day things happen to us that bring out our anger. So it's critical that we learn to keep our temper under control. We need to do this for ourselves, and we need to do this so that our children can learn from our example.
Here are seven simple straight forward techniques you can use that will keep anger under control.
1. Get away from the location:
Walk away. When you are in a upsetting or frustrating situation and you feel anger is coming on, just walk away. Excuse yourself, go to the bathroom, do what ever you can do to leave the situation. Disengage. The great advantage of walking away is that even if you become angry, nothing will happen. You are by yourself, so no one will know that you are upset. You won't be able to say anything or do anything that you are going to regret later. Walking away is a great first step in controlling your anger and limiting the damage that it can do.
2. Diffuse your anger:
One of the best ways to diffuse your anger is to get physical. That does not mean hit your kids, which is one of the destructive ways some parents diffuse their anger. What I mean is to engage in some form of vigorous physical activity. Go for a walk, a run, lift weights, or do something else physical that will diffuse your emotions and get your mind off the problem. This will help you cool down. It will also give you some of the best work outs that you will ever have.
3. Get regular exercise:
This is a corollary to what we just mentioned. Strenuous exercise is a great technique to manage your anger and increase you tolerance threshold.
Getting regular vigorous exercise has a lot of advantages. You will feel younger and healthier. You will look better. You will also be able to dissipate the effects of the daily nagging frustrations that tend to add up over the course of the day. These minor irritations tend to build up and eat away at you until even a small incident can get you angry. By just setting up a regular exercise routine, you will find that things will not bother you quite as much and you will be much less prone to anger.
4. Keep calm:
You can control anger if you find a way to stay calm and relaxed throughout the day. There are many relaxation techniques you can use to stay calm and have positive 'down time'. Some of the more popular activities are yoga, deep breathing exercises, meditation, and so on.
5. Laugh:
Try to look at what is happening as if it were happening to someone else. Many times if you look at the difficult situations you are experiencing as an outsider would, what is happening will seem quite ludicrous. You can infuse humor in difficult situations and laugh at them rather than get offended or angry.
6. Judge favorably:
Most people who do things that anger you are not doing them maliciously. Usually if the person knew he was doing something to bother you, he wouldn't do it at all. The problem is that none of us weigh out how our actions effect others. What seems to you as a person who is inconsiderate and uncaring is probably someone who is just unaware that what he is doing is bothering you. Most people do not mean to offend you. Therefore, there is no good reason to become offended.
You should view most actions that bother or offend you as an oversight rather than a direct attack. If you do that, you will almost always be correct.
7. Be silent:
Words said in anger can cause a great deal of harm. What you say may be something you truly feel or may be something that you are just saying to hurt your attacker. Either way, it will usually be something that is not very palatable. Be careful of the words that come out of your mouth when you are angry. When you calm down you will probably have to eat them.
Bonus Technique: Take a cosmic perspective:
The world is full of serious problems. Global warming, nuclear waste, genocide, world hunger, etc. These are things that can have ramifications for centuries. Compare these to whatever happened that is making you angry. In ten years from now, is what you are facing right now going to make any difference to anybody? If not, then just let it go. There are a lot of bigger problems to worry about.
You should try to use some or all of these anger management techniques and tips and teach them to your children. They will help you and your family members control your anger and prevent you from damaging your relationships.
From India, Coimbatore
Dear Mr. Peer,
The suggestions given by you will definitely helps an individual to control his/her anger when he/she get the time of confrontation with an individual. But how to control anger when we have confront with our office personnel/superior.
regds
MSR.MARIYAPPAN
From India, Dindigul
The suggestions given by you will definitely helps an individual to control his/her anger when he/she get the time of confrontation with an individual. But how to control anger when we have confront with our office personnel/superior.
regds
MSR.MARIYAPPAN
From India, Dindigul
Hi,Peer Mohammad,
Defnitely what ever is there in the article is very true,some of the techniques I implement regularly and always get positive results.
Thanks for sharing it with us.
regards
fauzia
AISPL
From India, Kanpur
Defnitely what ever is there in the article is very true,some of the techniques I implement regularly and always get positive results.
Thanks for sharing it with us.
regards
fauzia
AISPL
From India, Kanpur
Hi Sardharji,
These seven tips are quite good and if practised could successfully avert a disaster. As regards 2nd point "How to diffuse your anger", I would like to add here what the Psychologists have to say on this point. It is essential to have an outlet to your anger. If you do not do it then it will come out in the forms of "psyhological ailments" which may later become "psychiatric disease". A practising Psychologist is known as "Psychiatrist". So, viewed from this angle it is essential "which mode you adopt- flight or fight". Self is more important than anything else. There are people in this world who do not have any control on their tongue and they want to control the world with their tongue. I came accros one very old Muslim gentleman three decades backI expressed my anger very strongly to some one else in front of him. This old gentleman was watching my stern language and furious state of mind. He gave me an unsought piece of advice. Now WATCH HIS WORDS OF WISDOM: BETA - JAB TAK JEB SE PAISA NA JAYE AUR JAB TAK SHARIR PAR AANCH NA AAYE TAB TAK GUSSA NAHI KARNA CHAHIYE". I have practiced this since then and i am comfortable with my peace . Howsoever the provocation may be from the other side. Second aspect- "There is strategy of some people in making you angry. They want to give you grave and sudden provocation and make you helpless. Because at that point of time all your cognitive faculties stop working for some time and you commita an act which you repent later when you come back to your senses. Of course the Indian Criminal Law absolves you of any criminal liability. But it is really very difficult to imagine- At What cost (time ,money and energy) ? Hope the above more than amply further elucidates your 2nd point. Hope readers will relish it and learn from it. I would request readers to repond to the above for whic I shall be greatful to all the respondents. Their words might add something more to it .
E & OE.
regards,
Satish Kumar Dhanwal
Sr. Manager (HR)
NTPC Foundation,
Noida
From India, Delhi
These seven tips are quite good and if practised could successfully avert a disaster. As regards 2nd point "How to diffuse your anger", I would like to add here what the Psychologists have to say on this point. It is essential to have an outlet to your anger. If you do not do it then it will come out in the forms of "psyhological ailments" which may later become "psychiatric disease". A practising Psychologist is known as "Psychiatrist". So, viewed from this angle it is essential "which mode you adopt- flight or fight". Self is more important than anything else. There are people in this world who do not have any control on their tongue and they want to control the world with their tongue. I came accros one very old Muslim gentleman three decades backI expressed my anger very strongly to some one else in front of him. This old gentleman was watching my stern language and furious state of mind. He gave me an unsought piece of advice. Now WATCH HIS WORDS OF WISDOM: BETA - JAB TAK JEB SE PAISA NA JAYE AUR JAB TAK SHARIR PAR AANCH NA AAYE TAB TAK GUSSA NAHI KARNA CHAHIYE". I have practiced this since then and i am comfortable with my peace . Howsoever the provocation may be from the other side. Second aspect- "There is strategy of some people in making you angry. They want to give you grave and sudden provocation and make you helpless. Because at that point of time all your cognitive faculties stop working for some time and you commita an act which you repent later when you come back to your senses. Of course the Indian Criminal Law absolves you of any criminal liability. But it is really very difficult to imagine- At What cost (time ,money and energy) ? Hope the above more than amply further elucidates your 2nd point. Hope readers will relish it and learn from it. I would request readers to repond to the above for whic I shall be greatful to all the respondents. Their words might add something more to it .
E & OE.
regards,
Satish Kumar Dhanwal
Sr. Manager (HR)
NTPC Foundation,
Noida
From India, Delhi
Hi all,
I appreciate the views shared by both Mr. Peer & Mr. Satish.
I do agree with you that one needs to express anger instead of suffering silently. However, one needs to analyse the situation properly and then only one should respond. For example once we know that the other person has caused us the hurt unintentionally then we can tell them very softly with out having the bitterness in our heart. But we need to express so that we won't get hurt again and again. If the person had hurt us intentionally then i feel its better to be silent for some time to sort out our thoughts and slowly convey him/her how we felt. Most of the time how we say matters more than what we say. So while responding we need to take care of not only the qwords but even the tone and the tenor. At times its better to introspect before holding other person responsible for the hurt that was felt. When we clearly know that expressing our feelings to the perason who has caused us the hurt will cost us our job & if we are not in a position to loose the job then we can either go for a walk / exercise/ write on a piece of paper and then tare it off/ let it go off if the incident is not going to make much difference for you down the line/ share it with a friend ( its better if the friend is not from the same office circle).
Regards,
Vani
From India, Pune
I appreciate the views shared by both Mr. Peer & Mr. Satish.
I do agree with you that one needs to express anger instead of suffering silently. However, one needs to analyse the situation properly and then only one should respond. For example once we know that the other person has caused us the hurt unintentionally then we can tell them very softly with out having the bitterness in our heart. But we need to express so that we won't get hurt again and again. If the person had hurt us intentionally then i feel its better to be silent for some time to sort out our thoughts and slowly convey him/her how we felt. Most of the time how we say matters more than what we say. So while responding we need to take care of not only the qwords but even the tone and the tenor. At times its better to introspect before holding other person responsible for the hurt that was felt. When we clearly know that expressing our feelings to the perason who has caused us the hurt will cost us our job & if we are not in a position to loose the job then we can either go for a walk / exercise/ write on a piece of paper and then tare it off/ let it go off if the incident is not going to make much difference for you down the line/ share it with a friend ( its better if the friend is not from the same office circle).
Regards,
Vani
From India, Pune
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