Sorry to note your predicament. However, you have not given sufficient information to give you an informed suggestion. For example, did you know that the girl to whom you were going to get engaged had a cousin working in your organisation and in that position? Was this engagement an arranged one or were you going out with that girl? How did you come to know about the girl having a drinking problem? What did she lie you about?
In arranged marriages, it is customary for people involved to check on the girls'/boys' backgrounds, etc. It's possible that what your HR was doing and nothing more, as you have not given any details of what your manager was told or asked.
If the HR executive wants to be vindictive, do you think just by resigning and getting away will be smooth? I am known for asking questions rather than giving answers. I am sorry if this has not helped you.
From United Kingdom
1624In arranged marriages, it is customary for people involved to check on the girls'/boys' backgrounds, etc. It's possible that what your HR was doing and nothing more, as you have not given any details of what your manager was told or asked.
If the HR executive wants to be vindictive, do you think just by resigning and getting away will be smooth? I am known for asking questions rather than giving answers. I am sorry if this has not helped you.
From United Kingdom
This was arranged marriage and the HR contacted the afternoon I called off my engagement . Yes , the reason for contacting was to keep an eye on me . Why did he not contact me while I was with the girl or just call me up an to congratulate ? Why the hell he contacted my manager ??
How do I know whether the girl has drinking problem is beyond the scope of the discussion . I need an answer from organization point of view . How to tackle the case effectively ?
From India, Bhubaneswar
How do I know whether the girl has drinking problem is beyond the scope of the discussion . I need an answer from organization point of view . How to tackle the case effectively ?
From India, Bhubaneswar
Dear Anonymous
The best was of tacking such issue is by maintaining records pertaining to this matter.
Maintain a excel sheet, on cloud using google, wherein you will mention every activity you carry out every day including basic routine tasks you perform in office. Be very cautious while dealing with female coworkers from your office.
If possible record any and all conversation , especially any discussion,advise by anyone on your personal life.
Meanwhile be happy and calm, and search for a new job. Do not leave your current job without new job in hand.
There is no better tool than being happy , to torment people who wants you down and sad.
Dont cite personal reason as reason for resignation, when you are resigning from the current job.
Change your social profile setting from public to private, this will ensure that there is no unwanted leak of information about your personal life.
Work on your linkedin profile, get maximum references from your juniors and colleagues from current and past company.
Check if vendors, clients , suppliers can provide you with a written recommendation.
And dont plan to much in to future, relax a little, there is nothing in this world that cannot be dealt with appropriately.
In couple of days all this brotherly love for cousin sister will see its own demise.
Regards
Octavious
From India, Mumbai
The best was of tacking such issue is by maintaining records pertaining to this matter.
Maintain a excel sheet, on cloud using google, wherein you will mention every activity you carry out every day including basic routine tasks you perform in office. Be very cautious while dealing with female coworkers from your office.
If possible record any and all conversation , especially any discussion,advise by anyone on your personal life.
Meanwhile be happy and calm, and search for a new job. Do not leave your current job without new job in hand.
There is no better tool than being happy , to torment people who wants you down and sad.
Dont cite personal reason as reason for resignation, when you are resigning from the current job.
Change your social profile setting from public to private, this will ensure that there is no unwanted leak of information about your personal life.
Work on your linkedin profile, get maximum references from your juniors and colleagues from current and past company.
Check if vendors, clients , suppliers can provide you with a written recommendation.
And dont plan to much in to future, relax a little, there is nothing in this world that cannot be dealt with appropriately.
In couple of days all this brotherly love for cousin sister will see its own demise.
Regards
Octavious
From India, Mumbai
Hi Anonymous,
While I believe in your posts that you have presented certain facts, I also think that you have expressed your fears on alleged happenings along with some opinions. It is true that you are badly upset and so the first thing you need is, to recuperate yourself and bring a state of calmness within you. Remember Dale Carnegie who told that we all suffer from two kinds of dangers-THE REAL DANGER and the IMAGINED DANGER. Please make sure that you are not having any hallucination that disturbs your peace.
In the Wonder Land of Indian Managers (thanks to Management Guru Shri Sharu Rangenekar who coined it as a title
for one of his books ) anything is possible. So assess the pros and cons and then take a decision.
V.Raghunathan
From India
While I believe in your posts that you have presented certain facts, I also think that you have expressed your fears on alleged happenings along with some opinions. It is true that you are badly upset and so the first thing you need is, to recuperate yourself and bring a state of calmness within you. Remember Dale Carnegie who told that we all suffer from two kinds of dangers-THE REAL DANGER and the IMAGINED DANGER. Please make sure that you are not having any hallucination that disturbs your peace.
In the Wonder Land of Indian Managers (thanks to Management Guru Shri Sharu Rangenekar who coined it as a title
for one of his books ) anything is possible. So assess the pros and cons and then take a decision.
V.Raghunathan
From India
Dear Friend,
My advice, Intereference from senior HR, as you are experiencing, can't be mentioned as a reason for your quitting. The reason is you don't really have an objective evedence, you can't really prove. So if you want to quit, don't put any blame on somebody. You should always say that you are leaving for some better opportunity. Any bad words if you use in the present job, it would only be damaging to you directly or indirectly. say thanks to every one in the present organization including your senior HR & walk away. This will make your life happy atleast in the new job.
Regards,
Satish Akut
From India, Pune
My advice, Intereference from senior HR, as you are experiencing, can't be mentioned as a reason for your quitting. The reason is you don't really have an objective evedence, you can't really prove. So if you want to quit, don't put any blame on somebody. You should always say that you are leaving for some better opportunity. Any bad words if you use in the present job, it would only be damaging to you directly or indirectly. say thanks to every one in the present organization including your senior HR & walk away. This will make your life happy atleast in the new job.
Regards,
Satish Akut
From India, Pune
I chose to ignore the part about unlawful activity, victimisation etc as information available is one sided and incomplete.
Focusing on the other part of your question:
Do not site this as reason when going for interview. No one likes to recruit an employee who speaks negative about current employer, or has a persecution complex or has taken an anti employer stand. They think you will do same here. Best to say you want to work for better prospects, different industry, different profile, etc.
When you resign from here, just state "personal reason"
From India, Mumbai
Focusing on the other part of your question:
Do not site this as reason when going for interview. No one likes to recruit an employee who speaks negative about current employer, or has a persecution complex or has taken an anti employer stand. They think you will do same here. Best to say you want to work for better prospects, different industry, different profile, etc.
When you resign from here, just state "personal reason"
From India, Mumbai
Dear Friend,
While leaving your present job you should not site this so called episode to your senior management since there is no proof you can show for such harassment. So blaming someone without any concrete evidence would only be damaging to you. My advice is while leaving say that you are leaving for better job elsewhere &with a smiling face say thanks to everybody & walk away quitely. In new job ferget the past & work with fresh mind else your day to day performance may get affected. I wish you best of luck
With best regards,
Satish Akut
From India, Pune
While leaving your present job you should not site this so called episode to your senior management since there is no proof you can show for such harassment. So blaming someone without any concrete evidence would only be damaging to you. My advice is while leaving say that you are leaving for better job elsewhere &with a smiling face say thanks to everybody & walk away quitely. In new job ferget the past & work with fresh mind else your day to day performance may get affected. I wish you best of luck
With best regards,
Satish Akut
From India, Pune
Anonymous - Man up! Your HR director has no cause for termination anyways. And the issue you describe, needs to be dealt with by you! Talk to him, outside of office since (and you rightly pointed out earlier) the professional avatar is separate from the personal one.
@Mods - Can I request a closure on this thread? Under the 'no real contribution to the forum' method?
From India, Mumbai
@Mods - Can I request a closure on this thread? Under the 'no real contribution to the forum' method?
From India, Mumbai
Hi Anonymous,
Stop looking at yourself as a victim. Look at all the options you have around you and weigh the pros and cons of each of them. Since your manager is unwilling to disclose the name you are concluding he or she is "diplomatic and seems to be taking orders from higher ups". It could just be professionalism on his or her part.
Look at the situation as if it was happening to some one else and ask yourself what you would be advising then. You are not a victim. You are a professional who is employed. You have Rights. So use your skills to empower you and find a solution. Running away from the situation may not help.
All the best
From India, Bangalore
Stop looking at yourself as a victim. Look at all the options you have around you and weigh the pros and cons of each of them. Since your manager is unwilling to disclose the name you are concluding he or she is "diplomatic and seems to be taking orders from higher ups". It could just be professionalism on his or her part.
Look at the situation as if it was happening to some one else and ask yourself what you would be advising then. You are not a victim. You are a professional who is employed. You have Rights. So use your skills to empower you and find a solution. Running away from the situation may not help.
All the best
From India, Bangalore
Just to keep everyone updated ... Yes , there have been few instances this past week where I have been targeted . My manager has given me hints that the guy in question is running inquires about me and a head of my division has started to get involved also ( though it seems he doesn't want to ...) .Its a long story and I do not want to bother the members with it . But , in short I apprehension was correct . so, It would be wise for me to quietly walk out now .
I wish if every one holding top management position had a proper MBA education then there would not have been such incidences.
Chances are very high you guys wouldn't see me again . So , I want to take a moment to thank every member who meaningfully contributed in this thread and provided me their professional advise . I am glad I could stumble upon this site when I needed the most .
Meanwhile , I am going to sit back and rethink about my next professional strategy .
From India, Bhubaneswar
I wish if every one holding top management position had a proper MBA education then there would not have been such incidences.
Chances are very high you guys wouldn't see me again . So , I want to take a moment to thank every member who meaningfully contributed in this thread and provided me their professional advise . I am glad I could stumble upon this site when I needed the most .
Meanwhile , I am going to sit back and rethink about my next professional strategy .
From India, Bhubaneswar
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