If you overdo it, you make enemies. If you avoid it too much, you become a pushover.
Sharing an article on how to criticize or How to call someone an idiot in the right way, so that instead of harming your career, it helps it.
From India, Delhi
246Sharing an article on how to criticize or How to call someone an idiot in the right way, so that instead of harming your career, it helps it.
From India, Delhi
@skhadir: You raised an important point.
"Calling an idiot" is a metaphor for those stressful situations when you want to assert yourself, stand up for yourself, when you suffer injustice and want to tell your boss you are not happy about it or when your peer tries to push through his inferior ideas or when a talented but difficult to manage subordinate does not deliver.
You are right about using logic, humor and common sense to resolve the situation maturely. If you read the article, that's exactly what it says. We are on the same page here.
No one is literally calling anybody an idiot - so let's get that out of the table.
In the real organizations, such things happen. One needs to know how to be assertive without being offensive. One needs to know how stand up for oneself whether it is his boss, equal or a junior.
From India, Delhi
"Calling an idiot" is a metaphor for those stressful situations when you want to assert yourself, stand up for yourself, when you suffer injustice and want to tell your boss you are not happy about it or when your peer tries to push through his inferior ideas or when a talented but difficult to manage subordinate does not deliver.
You are right about using logic, humor and common sense to resolve the situation maturely. If you read the article, that's exactly what it says. We are on the same page here.
No one is literally calling anybody an idiot - so let's get that out of the table.
In the real organizations, such things happen. One needs to know how to be assertive without being offensive. One needs to know how stand up for oneself whether it is his boss, equal or a junior.
From India, Delhi
I would like to share my personal experience at office.
I was a part of a small team of girls, even my manager as well.
And she was very close to one of my counterpart, just because they were together since last 3 years.
Any new work comes..she used to assign it to me and enjoying her days with the other girl...
they both didnt work...not even bothered to support rest of us in the team...if we asked..reply comes as "that is what you are hired for".
There are lot of issues in the team just because of her prejudiced behavior. She is an IDIOT
I had a word with her regarding this in an assertive way...but came up with no solutions...same happened when i spoke to head of BU.
And finally i quit...
Kindly suggest what should i do now if i will face the same issues in a new firm?
suggestions would be helpful.
Thanks,Shilpi
From India, Bangalore
I was a part of a small team of girls, even my manager as well.
And she was very close to one of my counterpart, just because they were together since last 3 years.
Any new work comes..she used to assign it to me and enjoying her days with the other girl...
they both didnt work...not even bothered to support rest of us in the team...if we asked..reply comes as "that is what you are hired for".
There are lot of issues in the team just because of her prejudiced behavior. She is an IDIOT
I had a word with her regarding this in an assertive way...but came up with no solutions...same happened when i spoke to head of BU.
And finally i quit...
Kindly suggest what should i do now if i will face the same issues in a new firm?
suggestions would be helpful.
Thanks,Shilpi
From India, Bangalore
I think you did the right thing.
As a subordinate, there is only so much you can do to get your boss to hear and if he/she doesn't, your life is too precious to waste getting stressed under a jerk.
Having said that, just a word of caution - do check if you are not missing something in your blind spot. Objectively see if a) the boss indeed treated you unfairly, and, b) If any of your behavior traits were negative - without any bias and sympathy for yourself.
If you get anything that points to some weakness of yours, rectify it. If it doesn't, be happy, close the chapter and look ahead.
There are good bosses and there are bad ones. You won't get all bad ones (if you do, then the problem may not be with the bosses) and you wont get all good ones.
If in future, you get a bad boss - well, talk to him, discuss with him, try to bring him on to resolve the issue, maybe talk to other higher ups and be ok with a little bit of unfairness. If that doesn't work and it starts getting to your head and bringing you down, do what you did in this case - change the job.
From India, Delhi
As a subordinate, there is only so much you can do to get your boss to hear and if he/she doesn't, your life is too precious to waste getting stressed under a jerk.
Having said that, just a word of caution - do check if you are not missing something in your blind spot. Objectively see if a) the boss indeed treated you unfairly, and, b) If any of your behavior traits were negative - without any bias and sympathy for yourself.
If you get anything that points to some weakness of yours, rectify it. If it doesn't, be happy, close the chapter and look ahead.
There are good bosses and there are bad ones. You won't get all bad ones (if you do, then the problem may not be with the bosses) and you wont get all good ones.
If in future, you get a bad boss - well, talk to him, discuss with him, try to bring him on to resolve the issue, maybe talk to other higher ups and be ok with a little bit of unfairness. If that doesn't work and it starts getting to your head and bringing you down, do what you did in this case - change the job.
From India, Delhi
[]all are right as we express based on our perception.If we are emotionally intelligent we can atleast analyse the reality atleast close to the truth.we can understand the feelings of others(empathy)(boss or subordinate).That solves major problem and avoids wrong decisions.Sometimes we express though we dont mean it.iF WE JUST PRACTICE OBSERVING OUR OWN BEHAVIOUR,WE can avoid so ma many unsavioury things.Many times our perception of others may be wrong.dont take words only for judgement.Take cues from vocal and mainly visual(Body language).Best is dont take things seriously and unduly judge others.grin and bear it .Again it depends on personality.In the same team,under the same boss,some thrive and some quit.LEARN TO LIVE IN THEPRESENT
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From India
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From India
Dear Shilpi,
Remember one thing "Don't You Quit",you can not left the job because of others unless it is hard to survive in that atmosphere ,You get these type of people almost everywhere ,but yes you must have to make a stand in the very beginning ,Once you start reacting, then they will surely take a step back and think 100 times before doing any act of injustice.
Go Ahead ......
From India, Ambala
Remember one thing "Don't You Quit",you can not left the job because of others unless it is hard to survive in that atmosphere ,You get these type of people almost everywhere ,but yes you must have to make a stand in the very beginning ,Once you start reacting, then they will surely take a step back and think 100 times before doing any act of injustice.
Go Ahead ......
From India, Ambala
@ BODHISUTRA - I had worked with different personalities wherein couple of my ex-boss had taken many IDIOTIC DECISION. Even other employees felt the same. Though I knew that they were IDIOTS but, i didn't felt it was necessary for me to term them as "IDIOTS" nor i wished to criticize them. If i had made my mindset that, i am working with IDIOTS, then i would never had progressed in my life because "I WOULD HAVE TAKEN THINGS CASUALLY" "UNDERESTIMATED THEIR CALIBER" and "OVERESTIMATED MY CALIBER". I was very much ASSERTIVE and i tried to DEFEND myself whenever they pointed mistakes in my modus operandi.
The point is, we must learn to COMMUNICATE DYNAMICALLY/EFFECTIVELY/ASSERTIVELY. If they are wrong, don't support their wrong doing nor be a part of the show for which you may have repent later. I did not even attempt to safeguard my job nor i was scared that i may lose it if I act ASSERTIVELY, COMMUNICATE WITH STRAIGHT FORWARD ATTITUDE. I tried my best to do justice with my roles and responsibilities. When things didn't workout between me and my superior/boss, rather just listening to their NON-SENSE, just because they are my boss, or DEGRADING MY IMAGE or COMPROMISING WITH SITUATION WHICH MAY AFFECTING MY HEALTH and MAKING ME WEAKER, my policy says, say goodbye to your employer and move ahead in life. I only know onething "IF I AM GOOD, THE WHOLE WORLD WILL BE GOOD TO ME".
With profound regards
From India, Chennai
The point is, we must learn to COMMUNICATE DYNAMICALLY/EFFECTIVELY/ASSERTIVELY. If they are wrong, don't support their wrong doing nor be a part of the show for which you may have repent later. I did not even attempt to safeguard my job nor i was scared that i may lose it if I act ASSERTIVELY, COMMUNICATE WITH STRAIGHT FORWARD ATTITUDE. I tried my best to do justice with my roles and responsibilities. When things didn't workout between me and my superior/boss, rather just listening to their NON-SENSE, just because they are my boss, or DEGRADING MY IMAGE or COMPROMISING WITH SITUATION WHICH MAY AFFECTING MY HEALTH and MAKING ME WEAKER, my policy says, say goodbye to your employer and move ahead in life. I only know onething "IF I AM GOOD, THE WHOLE WORLD WILL BE GOOD TO ME".
With profound regards
From India, Chennai
Good that we are having this discussion, brings out a lot of practical issues.
@Archi: If the stress due to a bad boss and the task of managing him takes up so much time and energy that you aren't left with any to do great work and feel happy, you should seek change. It's not the first step if you encounter a bad boss, but yes, it should definitely be the 3rd or 4th or 5th step.
I don't think it is smart to say, "I don't quit" and stick to a bad working relationship, bad company, bad boss or a bad professional environment. You'll waste a lot of your precious time, energy, happiness and achievement potential
@ Skhadir: We are not really disagreeing.
I totally agree that when it begins affecting your self esteem, health and happiness, say good bye.
Also, assertiveness, straightforward attitude, dynamic communication are all ideas. How to translate them into doable steps? (Incidentally, the article talks about these doable steps).
Idiots are facts of organizational life (you too mentioned you've met a few). I think its important to acknowledge it when you meet one and figure out the best way to handle it.
If a wolf jumps in front of you, you could think of him as a wolf and run for life or you could think of him as a creation-of-God-only-trying-to-satisfy-his-hunger and try to see his nicer qualities :)
From India, Delhi
@Archi: If the stress due to a bad boss and the task of managing him takes up so much time and energy that you aren't left with any to do great work and feel happy, you should seek change. It's not the first step if you encounter a bad boss, but yes, it should definitely be the 3rd or 4th or 5th step.
I don't think it is smart to say, "I don't quit" and stick to a bad working relationship, bad company, bad boss or a bad professional environment. You'll waste a lot of your precious time, energy, happiness and achievement potential
@ Skhadir: We are not really disagreeing.
I totally agree that when it begins affecting your self esteem, health and happiness, say good bye.
Also, assertiveness, straightforward attitude, dynamic communication are all ideas. How to translate them into doable steps? (Incidentally, the article talks about these doable steps).
Idiots are facts of organizational life (you too mentioned you've met a few). I think its important to acknowledge it when you meet one and figure out the best way to handle it.
If a wolf jumps in front of you, you could think of him as a wolf and run for life or you could think of him as a creation-of-God-only-trying-to-satisfy-his-hunger and try to see his nicer qualities :)
From India, Delhi
First and foremost thing, people should remember - there is no perfect human being in this world ! Every human being has his or her own positives and negatives, good and bad things. There is nothing called right or wrong because it depends upon how you view it from the doer's or the person's point of view. It is always look at the positives from one's point of view and see how best you can utilise the positives for your own advantage as a colleague, as a peer, as a subordinate or even as a brother or sister. Like how you are looking at others, please remembers others are also sitting in judgement and decide about your qualities, attitude, behaviour etc. If you start assessing each and everybody around you, there wont be any end at all !
Instead of deciding who is an idiot, find out how good the guy is in other aspects. There is nobody called Idiot, in fact. A very few people do not utilise the resources available to them, including using the brain effectively for analysing, for thinking and acting quickly, smartly and effectively.
Look at the positives of others and you will find the world a happy place to live in !
Best wihses
From India
Instead of deciding who is an idiot, find out how good the guy is in other aspects. There is nobody called Idiot, in fact. A very few people do not utilise the resources available to them, including using the brain effectively for analysing, for thinking and acting quickly, smartly and effectively.
Look at the positives of others and you will find the world a happy place to live in !
Best wihses
From India
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1.Be a Better Boss and not a Bitter Boss.doc