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i have been in the company for a number of years already. unfortuantely, i am currently in a middle of office politics and intrigue as i am being identified with one of the company officers, having known and working with that person for a long time. i am deeply disappointed with how my "friends" are backstabbing me know. to make matters worst, their taking it in a more personal level and my professional relationships are already being affected by the talks behind my back. i need your honest opinion on the matter. i am happy with what i am doing and im loyal to the company im serving but i am seriously thinking of leaving because i feel like i cant handle the personal stress anymore. im in need of fresh insights cause i seem to be losing my optimism at this point.
:(

From Philippines, Manila
Dear pinoy....
iron cuts iron....u need to understand that...if u leave the job then tohse people who are back stabbing you will win....go on a low profile for some time...let the whole thing die....by not reacting to any provacations....if u react thn you are the looser.....always remember...these words...
LEARN>>>>PROCESS & EVOLVE ...this is the best mantra to survive corporate politics.....
regards
scare_crow

From India, Mumbai
Dear Pinoy,

How are you and dear i can very well understand what you have been going through right now as i have also gone thru the same situation in the past wherein my juniors had backstabbed me and had made my life miserable in the organisation.

I had thought of reacting and giving back to them but trust me i just kept quite as i knew that my silence would kill them and thats what happened in the end and they all had come and apologise to me for what they have been doing.

I would rather suggest that keep a Low profile for some time and try to keep ur mind out of such activity and just try to identify who is your Actual frd and who can help you come out of it as the situation in which you are you can not trust anyone as you would be taken for granted for anything you say.

I would also suggest to give a stren look whenever you think that someone is playing dirty as the Look will warn the opposite person and will keep couple of things under Control.

Hope this helps you to have an work approach and pls pls dont just quit your job because of this reason as Office Politics exist every where and you just cant keep running away from it and Its fun to Face the Challenges than Hide Away.

All the Best and do let me know if you have any specific incident for which you need any guidance.

Thanks

Regards

Nimit Panpalia

From India, Mumbai
thank you very much for the advise. i have been trying to lie low the past few days and have kept under radar for quite some time. fortunately for me, i have been invited to join another organization that offers something that i have been waiting for in my career, an opportunity to travel international. needless to say, it was not a very difficult decision since it came at a very opportune time for me. i will, however, feel sad about leaving my superiors. they have been good role models to me and were more than supportive when they found out about my offer. they were honest to admit that they are not able to give what the other organization has to offer and that it would be advantagous for me at this point in my career to experience a different kind of challenge. again thank you and i look forward to continuing exchanging words of wisdom with you.
sincerely,
pinoy:)

From Philippines, Manila
Namaskar,
You are not the only victim. there are many innocent persons who lose materially and even go to jail for no fault of theirs. So you will have to analyse your situation very carefully. Here are certain tips.
1.prospect in modern life is believed to be the gift of CCD(creativity, crookedness and dhithissm). Observe who is having these traits to what extent.
2. The personality types:
a. joota chatoo.
b.kudkudau,
c.kamar kasu,
d.rambharasu,
e.bahkau,
f.bhadkau and
g.bidkau.
Maintain appropriate distance depending upon their type.
3. Look into your demand characteristics. our being and becoming is responsible for eliciting specific reactions in others. Those may be for or against. So please check up what are your demand characteristics which elicited such reactions in others and replace those demand characteristics at the earliest.
regards

From India, Delhi
Dear Pinoy,

Namaskar.

Thanks for your interest. The name your personal project may be:

ELICITING FAVOURABLE REACTIONS AROUND ME IN PLACE OF UNFAVOURABLE REACTIONS.

The explanation of the personality types are:

1. Joota chatoo means a boot licker. He/she can do and undo anything for someone in power for gain. He/she has no other value except acqisition of gain.

2. Kudkudau means a grumbler. He/she just goes on grumbling. It is not possible on his/her part to alter the situation.

3.Kamar kasu means waist tightner. He/she revolts against the status quo and thinks that he/she can establish justice and order of his/her liking.

4.Ram bharasu means who accepts the situation as given by Ram and enjoys as it is.

5.Bahkau means one who is able to set a person in motion against one's self or others very cunningly like Shakuni.

6.Bhadkau means one who is capable of disintegrating an integrated group.

7. Bidkau means one who is capable of shattering an integrated group into pieces rendering it to nothingness.

Right? Please feel free to ask anything as you like.

regards

From India, Delhi
bala1
20

Dear Dr. Jogeshwar,
Beautiful explanation of the personalities.
Pinoy HR is not the only person in such a soup.
I am going thru a similar situation where many if my socalled "friends" have already stabbed from behind. The closest one to whom i am reporting to has now started looking at me as a competitor to him. Trying to run through the situation keeping my head cool and trying to keep off all the political issues. No idea how long it will take to clear things out!

From India, Madras
" No idea how long it will take to clear things out!"
Rarely or hardly situation alters automatically. I have already said that Pinoy is not the only victim. I have already said that let us now clean the work places. So take up the project-ELICITING FAVOURABLE REACTIONS AROUND ME IN PLACE OF UNFAVOURABLE REACTIONS you too.
regards

From India, Delhi
bala1
20

Dear Dr Jogeshwar,
Yes I agree that situations rarely alter by itself.
I also agree to your suggestion of ELICITING FAVOURABLE REACTIONS AROUND ME IN PLACE OF UNFAVOURABLE REACTIONS project.
Please do give me some more inputs on how to proceed with this.

From India, Madras
Assess your need affiliation: The first step.

Let me tell you a story first. Once upon a time there lived a Sethji. One day Tota(messenger of God) came to him and said-look, every possession of yours will have to go. But you can have a choice to keep only one thing as you please. Take three days time to decide. I shall be back after 3 days.

There was a lot of consultations in the family. But it was difficult to decide what to retain. Ultimately Sethji said- all of us have talked. Now let us take the view of Chhoti bahu. Chhoti bahu said- Ask him to leave with us only saluk(good relation). The proposal appealed to all family members.

Three days after Tota came and enquired what to leave. Sethji said- saluk. Tota said- Then you have kept every thing. What am I to take then? And he left empty handed.



Depending upon one’s level of need for affiliation, relationships grow around. The following spectrum will give you an idea about your level of need affiliation.

Levels of affiliation With NADOs With formals With others With friends

Heart to heart ? ? ? ?

Intimate ? ? ? ?

Very good ? ? ? ?

Good ? ? ? ?

Hello hello ? ? ? ?

Bad ? ? ? ?

Very bad ? ? ? ?

Rivals to death ? ? ? ?



· NADO means near and dear ones.

Replace the ? marks with real frequencies. The more the frequencies above hello hello level, the higher is your need for affiliation.

Next, we shall go to second step.

Regards.

From India, Delhi
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