i have a problem when i talk to the people i dont know how to improve , i am trying to speak with people but i dont when i want to start i cant speak only i listen to them , what to advice me to do
From Oman, Ruwi
From Oman, Ruwi
Hi,
Look friend...Communication is the way of representing your thought....It has to be clear......If you fable with the words it may cause confusion to the listener....
I think you should start talking to everybody without any hesitation and also at your home,with your friends....in front of mirror...Read newspapers ,articles..this will enhance your vocabulary....the best way is to read dictionary daily..Learn ten words and try to use them in your daily life conversation.....this will help as I do this daily...it will hardly take 20 mins......
Communication is something which can't be taught ...you need to learn it on your own...
Still have issues...Do tell me....People say that I have strong communication skills ........have just mentioned this to let you know that I won't be giving wrong advice....
Regards
SJ
From India, Coimbatore
15Look friend...Communication is the way of representing your thought....It has to be clear......If you fable with the words it may cause confusion to the listener....
I think you should start talking to everybody without any hesitation and also at your home,with your friends....in front of mirror...Read newspapers ,articles..this will enhance your vocabulary....the best way is to read dictionary daily..Learn ten words and try to use them in your daily life conversation.....this will help as I do this daily...it will hardly take 20 mins......
Communication is something which can't be taught ...you need to learn it on your own...
Still have issues...Do tell me....People say that I have strong communication skills ........have just mentioned this to let you know that I won't be giving wrong advice....
Regards
SJ
From India, Coimbatore
Dear friend,
The good news is, you can overcome this....but you must put your mind to it and be willing to stick your neck out a few times. Is this something you face at work alone, or even with your friends?
Some of the reasons are-
1. you lack confidence, or have poor self esteem
2. you are not fluent in English
3. you are not well-read enough to contribute to a discussion
I have met several people who have problem 2 or 3 and yet still speak well, primarily because they are so confident.
My advice is,
identify the root cause of your problem... do you lack confidence or self esteem? One way to figure it out is to see your behavior with different kinds of people. Are you more confident speaking to your friends than to colleagues? Why? Are you capable of speaking better with people you believe (sometimes unconsciously) are inferior to you?
If this is the case, then you cannot speak when you believe the other person is superior to you. Remember, superiority/inferiority here is just your perception, it's what you believe. It is not fact.
Self esteem and self confidence can both be worked upon. If you are interested, i'll send some resources.
If the problem lies in your English language skills, then start working on your English speaking skills.
Some immediate steps you can take is----
1. Increase your awareness of issues, events, etc. by reading the paper, mags, journals, forums. think about everything and take effort to form your opinions on matters in advance. For office situations, write your ideas down on paper, so that it'll be easier for you to recall and say them in a meeting or official discussion.
2. Start sharing these opinions, first with people you are more comfortable with and later with colleagues, and groups of people.
3. If you can recall a conversation where you couldn't speak, work on it. write down the conversation, and see where all you could have spoken (but didn't)...analyse why you didn't say anything. what were your thoughts, how were you feeling...did you agree with the other speaker or disagree. were you scared to contradict? Analyse, and think of all your possible responses, and practice by saying them out loud. Try as much as possible to understand your limitations.
4. Practice speaking to a mirror or in an imagined conversation in the privacy of your home
5. Keep a victory log to record every time you did speak the way you wanted. try to remember how you felt then, were you very confident or happy?
6. Be alert to feedback.
7. Observe those people who you think communicate well. is there anything you can emulate? (not parrot) and finally
8. It doesn't matter if you make a fool out of yourself. if people put you down when you try to speak up, or if you feel embarrassed or foolish. you have to keep trying, and keep improving. if you need anymore resources on dialogues, etc.,
Do get in touch with, I'll send as many resources as I can. There are excellent self-help books on these topics. Believe it or not....they do work!!!!! So just keep up the chin and don;t get too worried. Just work hard at it!!!!!
PS: btw- Listening is also a fantastic skill, but you must listen with confidence not with the nagging worry of not being able to speak.
From India, Calcutta
The good news is, you can overcome this....but you must put your mind to it and be willing to stick your neck out a few times. Is this something you face at work alone, or even with your friends?
Some of the reasons are-
1. you lack confidence, or have poor self esteem
2. you are not fluent in English
3. you are not well-read enough to contribute to a discussion
I have met several people who have problem 2 or 3 and yet still speak well, primarily because they are so confident.
My advice is,
identify the root cause of your problem... do you lack confidence or self esteem? One way to figure it out is to see your behavior with different kinds of people. Are you more confident speaking to your friends than to colleagues? Why? Are you capable of speaking better with people you believe (sometimes unconsciously) are inferior to you?
If this is the case, then you cannot speak when you believe the other person is superior to you. Remember, superiority/inferiority here is just your perception, it's what you believe. It is not fact.
Self esteem and self confidence can both be worked upon. If you are interested, i'll send some resources.
If the problem lies in your English language skills, then start working on your English speaking skills.
Some immediate steps you can take is----
1. Increase your awareness of issues, events, etc. by reading the paper, mags, journals, forums. think about everything and take effort to form your opinions on matters in advance. For office situations, write your ideas down on paper, so that it'll be easier for you to recall and say them in a meeting or official discussion.
2. Start sharing these opinions, first with people you are more comfortable with and later with colleagues, and groups of people.
3. If you can recall a conversation where you couldn't speak, work on it. write down the conversation, and see where all you could have spoken (but didn't)...analyse why you didn't say anything. what were your thoughts, how were you feeling...did you agree with the other speaker or disagree. were you scared to contradict? Analyse, and think of all your possible responses, and practice by saying them out loud. Try as much as possible to understand your limitations.
4. Practice speaking to a mirror or in an imagined conversation in the privacy of your home
5. Keep a victory log to record every time you did speak the way you wanted. try to remember how you felt then, were you very confident or happy?
6. Be alert to feedback.
7. Observe those people who you think communicate well. is there anything you can emulate? (not parrot) and finally
8. It doesn't matter if you make a fool out of yourself. if people put you down when you try to speak up, or if you feel embarrassed or foolish. you have to keep trying, and keep improving. if you need anymore resources on dialogues, etc.,
Do get in touch with, I'll send as many resources as I can. There are excellent self-help books on these topics. Believe it or not....they do work!!!!! So just keep up the chin and don;t get too worried. Just work hard at it!!!!!
PS: btw- Listening is also a fantastic skill, but you must listen with confidence not with the nagging worry of not being able to speak.
From India, Calcutta
Hi this is mayur from mumbai
I am also facing same problem........
It is a nice solution
I will also start working on it...............
Plz also suggest more things to improve communication
( i am from vernacular medium so i m not familier with english vocab.)
Do reply
Best Regards
From India, Mumbai
I am also facing same problem........
It is a nice solution
I will also start working on it...............
Plz also suggest more things to improve communication
( i am from vernacular medium so i m not familier with english vocab.)
Do reply
Best Regards
From India, Mumbai
Dear friends,
I'll definitely post some more resources. Please do give me sometime to put them together.
What i like to emphasize though is that when it comes to comm problems, information is just the starting point. Practice and belief is the key. The two feed the other. The key is to keep on at it.
And I'd appreciate it if you could send me your feedback. Are they helping you? What have you learnt? What works for you? Is it too time consuming, etc.
Regards
From India, Calcutta
I'll definitely post some more resources. Please do give me sometime to put them together.
What i like to emphasize though is that when it comes to comm problems, information is just the starting point. Practice and belief is the key. The two feed the other. The key is to keep on at it.
And I'd appreciate it if you could send me your feedback. Are they helping you? What have you learnt? What works for you? Is it too time consuming, etc.
Regards
From India, Calcutta
Dear One,
I communicated to you for email address.Anyway you may go through this presentation and ask question as many as possible to make you a good communicator.
You need not worry about the cost, will suit you.[
quote=fatma08;568920]i have a problem when i talk to the people i dont know how to improve , i am trying to speak with people but i dont when i want to start i cant speak only i listen to them , what to advice me to do[/quote]
From United States
I communicated to you for email address.Anyway you may go through this presentation and ask question as many as possible to make you a good communicator.
You need not worry about the cost, will suit you.[
quote=fatma08;568920]i have a problem when i talk to the people i dont know how to improve , i am trying to speak with people but i dont when i want to start i cant speak only i listen to them , what to advice me to do[/quote]
From United States
Here's are 2 great self-esteem building exercises. Perhaps you've heard of them before. But they are fun to do, easy and always make your day brighter. Even if you very confident, you can still do it.
1. At the end of everyday, just before you go to bed, look at yourself in the mirror and smile. No matter how happy or sad or tired or exhausted or down in the dumps or irritated you are feeling....just looking at yourself in the mirror, NOT criticizing anything (such as dark circles, puffy eyes, double chin, etc.) you see in your reflection, but just looking at yourself and giving a big smile that light up your eyes...just the act of seeing your smile, will fix your day.
2. Write down, anywhere, the few things you did in the day that you really appreciate. It need not be big, need not have got any attention from others..Just something you think is worth appreciating.
Here's my list for the day -
1. Fed the stray puppies.
2. Stalled important work for a whole hour to tell made-up stories to my child.
3. Read 3 pages of a great book.
4. Listened more, spoke less.
The process is self-feeding, in that, in a few days, you'll find yourself doing more things that you'd want to appreciate and since it does not depend on anybody else's opinions or approval, you start depending on your judgment...basically giving your self and your opinions more respect and more value...which is what good self esteem is all about.
From India, Calcutta
1. At the end of everyday, just before you go to bed, look at yourself in the mirror and smile. No matter how happy or sad or tired or exhausted or down in the dumps or irritated you are feeling....just looking at yourself in the mirror, NOT criticizing anything (such as dark circles, puffy eyes, double chin, etc.) you see in your reflection, but just looking at yourself and giving a big smile that light up your eyes...just the act of seeing your smile, will fix your day.
2. Write down, anywhere, the few things you did in the day that you really appreciate. It need not be big, need not have got any attention from others..Just something you think is worth appreciating.
Here's my list for the day -
1. Fed the stray puppies.
2. Stalled important work for a whole hour to tell made-up stories to my child.
3. Read 3 pages of a great book.
4. Listened more, spoke less.
The process is self-feeding, in that, in a few days, you'll find yourself doing more things that you'd want to appreciate and since it does not depend on anybody else's opinions or approval, you start depending on your judgment...basically giving your self and your opinions more respect and more value...which is what good self esteem is all about.
From India, Calcutta
Hi fatma , how are you today? :)
to improve your speech or conversation my advise to you :
- do not be shy
- do your practise by joining one of the voice chatting rooms.
- make phone calls to speak to hottle or airlines or any services and speake to them
- make a friendship with others and speak to them throw your computer micrphone.
- use some learning CD to learn speaking and conversation .
wish you a good luck and enjoy .:)
From Saudi Arabia, Riyadh
to improve your speech or conversation my advise to you :
- do not be shy
- do your practise by joining one of the voice chatting rooms.
- make phone calls to speak to hottle or airlines or any services and speake to them
- make a friendship with others and speak to them throw your computer micrphone.
- use some learning CD to learn speaking and conversation .
wish you a good luck and enjoy .:)
From Saudi Arabia, Riyadh
First thing, dat u shud concentrate on is to start Reading Newspaper daily, without any fail. This will help you improve your vocabulory & the usage of words.
Secondly, try to speak out in front of d mirror, whatever comes into ur mind without any hesitation, but make sure dat whatevr u say- say it in english ( don't bother of right or wrong,coz der wud be nobody else listening to you at dat time) - If you are hesitant speaking out in english in public or in front of anybody.
Then, slowly n gradually try to interact in english wid people wid in your family, Frens - may be over the telephone or face to face.
Once u start gaining self confidence of whatever u are learning day by day. Then m sure u will be able to communicate fluently in English.
Its all about the Daily Practice, Practice & Practice, nothing else.:icon1:
From India, Delhi
Secondly, try to speak out in front of d mirror, whatever comes into ur mind without any hesitation, but make sure dat whatevr u say- say it in english ( don't bother of right or wrong,coz der wud be nobody else listening to you at dat time) - If you are hesitant speaking out in english in public or in front of anybody.
Then, slowly n gradually try to interact in english wid people wid in your family, Frens - may be over the telephone or face to face.
Once u start gaining self confidence of whatever u are learning day by day. Then m sure u will be able to communicate fluently in English.
Its all about the Daily Practice, Practice & Practice, nothing else.:icon1:
From India, Delhi
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