You will laugh your heads out after you finish reading this!!! (Nice One from Readers Digest)
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up eating beans. Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the dinner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly:
'Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.' He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than stinking cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long.
He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused:
'Happy Birthday!'!!
I nearly died!!!
From India, Bangalore
35One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up eating beans. Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the dinner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly:
'Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.' He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than stinking cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long.
He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused:
'Happy Birthday!'!!
I nearly died!!!
From India, Bangalore
:icon6::icon6::icon6::icon6::icon6:OOOOh..........HA HA..................Super Duper Hilarious one....Ashwini Thank God Faint Howney se pehley reply post kardiya:p :pSindhu
From India, Delhi
From India, Delhi
Hi Ashwini, Good one , people next me are wondering what is wrong , just could not help from bursting into laugh . Regards Shobha
From India, Mumbai
From India, Mumbai
Kal tho Faint hotey hotey bachey hain:p..........par hassi contd....What to do "Control hi nahi hota":icon4::icon6::icon6::icon6::icon6::icon6::lo l::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lo l:
Regards.............Sindhu
From India, Delhi
Regards.............Sindhu
From India, Delhi
Too too too too too funny........................very hilarious................ Have tears in eyes coz of laughter.................:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D
From India, Delhi
From India, Delhi
Here is one of the hilarious postings by a “gas-producer” in web-page
[FONT=Arial]http://medhelp.org]
QUOTE
It's interesting reading these stories of 'Flatulence Gas - Flatulence on the run.' Ok really, I sympathize because I have the same problem every day of every year. I've heard that the average person will expel gas up to 20 times each day (???) but sometimes I swear, I meet that quota in an hour. Unlike some of you, I find this problem hilarious, only because I know my partner doesn't care for it, but she too finds humor in it. Still, there are times when I'm at work and it feels like I physically cannot stop the rush of air, so I have to stand in this awkward position with one leg crossed over the other until the urge has passed.
The real problem I have is this. Of course, having gas as often as I do presents real difficulties. It is funny when I do it in the car or at home, but when I'm out with people I act appropriate and this results in one heck of a ache. So here's the thing- my gas has been described as noxious, sewer gas , sulphur, rotten eggs, something dying, etc. I'm not trying to be funny; I'm just stating a fact. For whatever reason, when I expel gas it generally smells absolutely horrible.
I've found that I can't pinpoint an exact time that this starts, because it 'seems' as if I have it first thing in the morning, all the way through the middle of the night. As I said, it's probably very immature of me to find it so funny, but I realize it is a problem because the odor is so consistently foul.
UNQUOTE
By the way this web-site medhelp.org is very useful for health-related issues.
K.SAMBASIVAM
From India, Madras
[FONT=Arial]http://medhelp.org]
QUOTE
It's interesting reading these stories of 'Flatulence Gas - Flatulence on the run.' Ok really, I sympathize because I have the same problem every day of every year. I've heard that the average person will expel gas up to 20 times each day (???) but sometimes I swear, I meet that quota in an hour. Unlike some of you, I find this problem hilarious, only because I know my partner doesn't care for it, but she too finds humor in it. Still, there are times when I'm at work and it feels like I physically cannot stop the rush of air, so I have to stand in this awkward position with one leg crossed over the other until the urge has passed.
The real problem I have is this. Of course, having gas as often as I do presents real difficulties. It is funny when I do it in the car or at home, but when I'm out with people I act appropriate and this results in one heck of a ache. So here's the thing- my gas has been described as noxious, sewer gas , sulphur, rotten eggs, something dying, etc. I'm not trying to be funny; I'm just stating a fact. For whatever reason, when I expel gas it generally smells absolutely horrible.
I've found that I can't pinpoint an exact time that this starts, because it 'seems' as if I have it first thing in the morning, all the way through the middle of the night. As I said, it's probably very immature of me to find it so funny, but I realize it is a problem because the odor is so consistently foul.
UNQUOTE
By the way this web-site medhelp.org is very useful for health-related issues.
K.SAMBASIVAM
From India, Madras
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