Hey guys….look at the below stuff..jus tooooooooooooo funny….the comments for each of was far the more hilariousJ. Can't control laughter...



Duration spent in each company you worked for: 2 years ( But the problem is my wood be is working in Bangalore.that's why i am very much intrested to shift from chennai to Bangalore)

Wood be???

Hello Rebecca ,

What haoppend of mine.. I have not been selected kya.. Sorry for this but like to join your company ya.

Thank U for your email.I will give mail shorly.

Sounds like laying an egg!!

Yah I've interested to work such a kind of challenging environment and atmosphere.

If you are satisfied call me @ +91 xxxxxxx/ 0xxxx.

Sundar.

If you are satisfied????????

Current CTC:240000/- annum

Expected CTC:300000/- annum

Joing period:30 days

Contact NO:YES

So there is a contact number!

Notice period :2 weeks

Duration spent in each company you worked for:10 hrs

Hardworking guy we see!

hello Mr/Mrs/Ms this is amit choubey sending my testing resume according to your requirement in your it company. You will use me for wharever.

thanking you for you positive replay,

amit

Welcome to reality you are already rejected!!

Iam a Sun Certified Programmer for Java 2 Platform 1.4. I have completed my B.E (Electrical and

electronics) 2004 batch from Madurai Kamaraj University. Right now iam searching for good opportunity in progressive organization, where I can have ample growth and keep abreasting with the changing technologies. I have enclosed my resume for your kind persual. Please do the needful at the earliest.

I'm available for interview on any days. Thanking you.

All was fine till ?????keep abreasting?????????

Candi:- Maadaam i saw in the jobsite that there is an opening for a java programmer, can you process my CV. I am in Chennai now

HR:- Right now we are looking for localites(Bangalore) only for this project.

Candi:-I am ready to dislocate myself !!!

HR:-HuH????

HR:-Your relevant experience?

Candi:-3 years

HR:-Salary expected?

Candi:- Yes Madam

HR:- He He He

HR:-How would u rate ur self in a scale of 1 to 10 in C#

Candi:-7

HR:-Comm skills

Candi:- put off 10/10. I taking to american peoples also.Clients u know maadam.

HR:- Gulp!!

Pasteing a mail my candidate had sent to me after i sent a group mailers for a Testing requirement:-

Mail 1

how many more years are you going to send such mails,

chalo lets get married and settle down.....

-vinod

Mail 2

Hello Ms Ranjit

Very glad to meet you in a mail........................

.................................................. .....(meet in a mail..wow Thats a new science)

Suresh

Mail 3

Hello,

Please find attached myself. Kindly proceed

Giri

Cover letter: "I would be prepared to meet with you at your earliest

convenience to discuss what I can do to your company."

That's what we're afraid of .

================================================== ======================

Resume: "It is my professional objective to obtain a position which

allows me to make use of my commuter skills."

I think we can oblige.

================================================== ======================

Weaknesses: "Suffer from prickly heat in summer."

Sounds uncomfortable.

================================================== ======================

Cover letter: "Enclosed is my resume for your viewing pleasure."

We can hardly wait.

================================================== ======================

Cover letter: "You are privileged to receive my resume."

We'll try not to let it go to our heads.

================================================== ======================

Objective: "To mature in the field of human behavior."

Good luck with that.

================================================== ======================

Experience: "10 years of experience in fineancial budgiting and

transactions rigistering."

But limited experience with the spell-check function.

================================================== ======================

Cover letter: "Please overlook my resume."

If you insist.

================================================== ======================

Cover letter: "I'm submitting the attached copy of my resume for your

consumption."

Yum.

================================================== ======================

Skills: "Grate communication skills."

Yes, but can you talk and chop at the same time?

================================================== ======================

Experience: "Responsibilities included recruiting, screening,

interviewing and executing final candidates."

Seems kind of harsh .

================================================== ======================

Cover letter: "Salary demanded - $65,000."

Would you like that in small, unmarked bills?

================================================== ======================

Strengths: "Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

Would that be Mozart or Beethoven?

================================================== ======================

Education: "B.A. in Loberal Arts."

Did you minor in ear piercing?

================================================== ======================

Cover letter: "I've updated my resume so it's more appalling to employers."

We're pretty shocked already .

================================================== ======================

Cover letter: "Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the

two are usually inseparable."

Glad to hear it.

================================================== ======================

Cover letter: "My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels,

and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable."

At these extremes, some things are best left unsaid.

================================================== ======================

Cover letter: "Experienced in all faucets of accounting."

That should help with the flow of information.

From India, Madras
Too add, i have a very good cover letter sent by a candidate applied for the junior position. See what a attitude person has and even could dare to write to a company even before the interview.

Dear Recruiter,

Thanks for your mail. I have enclosed my updated resume.

To be frank whatsoever the package, I will never join a company with their salary date preceding the first week of coming month. So, please kindly made me sure about salary date, which will be the first and foremost priority.

Let me tell you frankly I will not do continuous night shift whether it will be right now or in any future. Rotational shift is okay. Furthermore, I need at least minimum of 1 month paid leave during October-November as I am out-stationed candidate and have to go home town during these period.

Being in these field for enough time, I must admit that I will be doing only of an 8-hour shift. I am not going to sit for whole days as exercised in many of company practically speaking.

The remaining things we can discuss during interview, though above-mentioned conditions are mandatory to start with.

So, if you can assure of the above-mentioned conditions, then please do response of the same. Otherwise, I do not wanna waste my as well as your precious time for the test and interview.

Sincerely,

XYZ

Pune

From India, Pune
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