Say "No" ...though its difficult but this will help u. and if you can say "no" to her then i bet u will get success in ur career.
From India, Bangalore
1From India, Bangalore
Hey, dont be nervous..we come across such people everywhere. These people with their sweet tounge would make other people work for them like their servants..
I would just say "Learn to say NO when you don't want to say YES".
You will find it difficult initially, but, you also put it very sweetly and nicely that you are busy with your imp. work, or you don't like all the time to call canteen, etc..and do ask your colleague too for help sometimes.
Wish you all the best!
Mrinal
From India, Pune
I would just say "Learn to say NO when you don't want to say YES".
You will find it difficult initially, but, you also put it very sweetly and nicely that you are busy with your imp. work, or you don't like all the time to call canteen, etc..and do ask your colleague too for help sometimes.
Wish you all the best!
Mrinal
From India, Pune
Hi..
So what if u hav a common boss... boss is not going to hang u up for refusing...!!
I remember, when i thanked after getting a job done thru him, one of my friends said this.... " YOU ARE WELCOME BUT PLEASE DO NOT MAKE IT A HABIT "
there are other phrases i came across ... in hindi " is baar toh theek hai ... par agli baar ...please mujhe is jhameele mein math ghaseeto " means ...for this time its ok..but next time please do not pull me into this.
& "Please, why dont u help ur self"... then ... " yes for once its ok...but not again".
THE BEST OF ALL IS " NO " and when asked why ... say "ITS MY WISH".
It so happens that ... we are taken for granted sometimes because of our weekness that we cant say " NO ". But few people they know every trick in the world - they get their things done..
Take a strong step... finish it at the core... "
STAND UP ... LOOK AT UR BOSS... SAY HIM or HER THAT U ARE SORRY BUT U R NOT REPENTING BY SAYING SO... THEN TURN BACK TO UR COLLEAGUE AND SAY VERY STRONGLY WITH THE BEST OF UR WORDS AND REQUIRED PITCH IN VOICE ..... " I WILL NOT DO THIS.... THIS IS NOT MY JOB.... AND NEXT TIME FROM NOW U WILL NOT ASK ME TO DO ANYTHING...UR TAKING ME FOR GRANTED. DO WHAT EVER U CAN DO ". AND please after saying this u leev the room. THEY WILL CALL U IN AND SAY SORRY.. ITS OK... AND ALL THOSE WORDS OF APOLOGY.
If this ends up here , fine .... or else find a way to see her outside ur office and tell her straight on the face that u dont like this quality in her.
ITS TIME THAT U GOT TO BE VERY STRAIGHT. IF NOT TODAY NEXT DAY OR THE OTHER...BUT U CAN RUIN UR SLEEP THE LONGER U DELAY or PROBABLY UR ARE NOT SLEEPING WELL EVEN NOW !!!
when u finish please let us know ....
AAAAALLLLLL THE BESSSSSSSSST
Regards,
V. VENU
From India, Hyderabad
So what if u hav a common boss... boss is not going to hang u up for refusing...!!
I remember, when i thanked after getting a job done thru him, one of my friends said this.... " YOU ARE WELCOME BUT PLEASE DO NOT MAKE IT A HABIT "
there are other phrases i came across ... in hindi " is baar toh theek hai ... par agli baar ...please mujhe is jhameele mein math ghaseeto " means ...for this time its ok..but next time please do not pull me into this.
& "Please, why dont u help ur self"... then ... " yes for once its ok...but not again".
THE BEST OF ALL IS " NO " and when asked why ... say "ITS MY WISH".
It so happens that ... we are taken for granted sometimes because of our weekness that we cant say " NO ". But few people they know every trick in the world - they get their things done..
Take a strong step... finish it at the core... "
STAND UP ... LOOK AT UR BOSS... SAY HIM or HER THAT U ARE SORRY BUT U R NOT REPENTING BY SAYING SO... THEN TURN BACK TO UR COLLEAGUE AND SAY VERY STRONGLY WITH THE BEST OF UR WORDS AND REQUIRED PITCH IN VOICE ..... " I WILL NOT DO THIS.... THIS IS NOT MY JOB.... AND NEXT TIME FROM NOW U WILL NOT ASK ME TO DO ANYTHING...UR TAKING ME FOR GRANTED. DO WHAT EVER U CAN DO ". AND please after saying this u leev the room. THEY WILL CALL U IN AND SAY SORRY.. ITS OK... AND ALL THOSE WORDS OF APOLOGY.
If this ends up here , fine .... or else find a way to see her outside ur office and tell her straight on the face that u dont like this quality in her.
ITS TIME THAT U GOT TO BE VERY STRAIGHT. IF NOT TODAY NEXT DAY OR THE OTHER...BUT U CAN RUIN UR SLEEP THE LONGER U DELAY or PROBABLY UR ARE NOT SLEEPING WELL EVEN NOW !!!
when u finish please let us know ....
AAAAALLLLLL THE BESSSSSSSSST
Regards,
V. VENU
From India, Hyderabad
hi,
your case is of a person who is having a smart colleague taking undue advantage of yours. so first of first stop doing her work under pretext of you being busy. secondly ask her to help herself. thirdly, do not take her work and let the boss make her a call to come on Saturdays if possible
From India, Mumbai
your case is of a person who is having a smart colleague taking undue advantage of yours. so first of first stop doing her work under pretext of you being busy. secondly ask her to help herself. thirdly, do not take her work and let the boss make her a call to come on Saturdays if possible
From India, Mumbai
:oops:
hi i can understand your problem very well and know wat you r goin thru.
i ll tel u a easy soln to this problem .
start requesting her directly for ur works till she gets irritated. in the beginning u might feel wierd but its the only way to handle such kind of ppl.
she will be dominating unless you start botherin her.
i m givin u this advice because i HAD did the same to my frend
hope so this might work in your case also
From India, Bangalore
hi i can understand your problem very well and know wat you r goin thru.
i ll tel u a easy soln to this problem .
start requesting her directly for ur works till she gets irritated. in the beginning u might feel wierd but its the only way to handle such kind of ppl.
she will be dominating unless you start botherin her.
i m givin u this advice because i HAD did the same to my frend
hope so this might work in your case also
From India, Bangalore
Hi all,
thanks a lot for ur valuable inputs and suggestion...i guess my colleague is also a part of this community...as from past week onwards there has been a change in her behaviour...nw she dnt ask for any favours fromme....i hope it coninues....bt in case she do so, i m prepared to say "no" to her or apply "tit for tat policy"....thankgod that i hav a supporting boss....
hope all works well in the future also...
amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
From India, New Delhi
thanks a lot for ur valuable inputs and suggestion...i guess my colleague is also a part of this community...as from past week onwards there has been a change in her behaviour...nw she dnt ask for any favours fromme....i hope it coninues....bt in case she do so, i m prepared to say "no" to her or apply "tit for tat policy"....thankgod that i hav a supporting boss....
hope all works well in the future also...
amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
From India, New Delhi
Hi Niti and her guides (!)
I am Sachin, an HR Manager in an IT firm based at Mumbai. Can’t reveal the name of organization and that of mine as well due to some obvious constraints.
But guys I am thoroughly disappointed by the way Niti is putting forward her problem, the unidirectional way in which others are thinking about it and giving suggestions (rather misguiding) to her and to add to everything the way Niti says she has responded to her so called problem. ‘Art of saying no’ and all are good articles but there is no need of those things here.
Niti is not at any fault as she seems to have some inherent problem with her interpretation power. She seems to have misinterpreted some obvious expectations that a colleague can have from you thinking that you could be of that sporting nature.
From the kinds of things that Niti reports her colleague expects her to do and the way in which she expects her to do, I refuse to believe that the other lady is just her colleague. But I guess the other lady must be senior to her in the organization. Further from the kind of issues Niti is reporting any sensible person who has spent some time working in any organization can make out that Niti must have just begun her professional career.
So few things to be noted by Niti are as follows:
1) If you think that you are being taken for granted by your colleague (who I strongly feel is your senior) when she asks you to make calls or staple papers you are wrong. Generally professionals ask such things from their juniors just to create some sort of comfort and informal atmosphere and they continue these things only if they think other person comfortable. If your ego is getting hurt by such friendly gestures then you better let your colleague know that its of no use
2) Someone replying to you, I guess octavious is boasting about his response to similar situation by being laid back and ‘chucking’ (?) someone of his colleagues from company. someone is also telling you to say “No its my wish” and blah blah Don’t get misguided by such people.
3) Further Niti, who knows your colleague could actually have some important work at her home? If she is asking you to take the responsibility there is nothing wrong in it. When you will actually have some problem, just see if she helps you or not. I am sure she will!
4) I don’t want to get into specifics but from all your narration I can’t resist myself getting into particular issues and give you some valuable advice. To take it or not is up to you!
Niti, you yourself have said that on that Saturday she had a training program. And you were asked to handle new candidates. Now nobody can actually predict whether all those candidates who say they will come will actually turn up or not.
And in this situation just because now you have developed unnecessary personal grudge against her, you lied? Saying that you have an appointment? (You yourself have agreed that she was leaving early because she was not feeling well. Seems like you were jealous of her.. that’s why you also said you had an appointment.. Grow up Niti.. Keep dirty politics away) Are you trying to show your smart friends on this forum (who are giving examples of ‘chucking’ out someone) that you are even smarter?
After mentioning your smart tricks, your own line is “I HOPE I HAD MADE MYSELF CLEAR....” Yes Niti you made it very clear that you just want to play tricks rather than being proactive and gaining experience from the opportunities coming your way.
I fail to understand why you youngsters start complaining when you have to do a bit more? There is no shortcut to success. If you continue playing such tricks, I am afraid you’ll struggle to grow in your career.
5) Niti you yourself are saying that your colleague is also member of the blogging community. Then for any wise person it was not difficult to understand that your colleague must have stopped interacting with you not because of anything else but just because she must have got hurt after reading what kind of politics you are playing from your own blog and what kind of training you are being given by others.
6) Finally, success of an organization as well as the progress of the employees depend on the team spirit shown by them and not by the politics and grudges. I think this one liner is enough for you to make amendments.
I might have sounded harsh but I needed strong words to help a misguided and confused girl. I hope these words do the needful.
Sachin.
I am Sachin, an HR Manager in an IT firm based at Mumbai. Can’t reveal the name of organization and that of mine as well due to some obvious constraints.
But guys I am thoroughly disappointed by the way Niti is putting forward her problem, the unidirectional way in which others are thinking about it and giving suggestions (rather misguiding) to her and to add to everything the way Niti says she has responded to her so called problem. ‘Art of saying no’ and all are good articles but there is no need of those things here.
Niti is not at any fault as she seems to have some inherent problem with her interpretation power. She seems to have misinterpreted some obvious expectations that a colleague can have from you thinking that you could be of that sporting nature.
From the kinds of things that Niti reports her colleague expects her to do and the way in which she expects her to do, I refuse to believe that the other lady is just her colleague. But I guess the other lady must be senior to her in the organization. Further from the kind of issues Niti is reporting any sensible person who has spent some time working in any organization can make out that Niti must have just begun her professional career.
So few things to be noted by Niti are as follows:
1) If you think that you are being taken for granted by your colleague (who I strongly feel is your senior) when she asks you to make calls or staple papers you are wrong. Generally professionals ask such things from their juniors just to create some sort of comfort and informal atmosphere and they continue these things only if they think other person comfortable. If your ego is getting hurt by such friendly gestures then you better let your colleague know that its of no use
2) Someone replying to you, I guess octavious is boasting about his response to similar situation by being laid back and ‘chucking’ (?) someone of his colleagues from company. someone is also telling you to say “No its my wish” and blah blah Don’t get misguided by such people.
3) Further Niti, who knows your colleague could actually have some important work at her home? If she is asking you to take the responsibility there is nothing wrong in it. When you will actually have some problem, just see if she helps you or not. I am sure she will!
4) I don’t want to get into specifics but from all your narration I can’t resist myself getting into particular issues and give you some valuable advice. To take it or not is up to you!
Niti, you yourself have said that on that Saturday she had a training program. And you were asked to handle new candidates. Now nobody can actually predict whether all those candidates who say they will come will actually turn up or not.
And in this situation just because now you have developed unnecessary personal grudge against her, you lied? Saying that you have an appointment? (You yourself have agreed that she was leaving early because she was not feeling well. Seems like you were jealous of her.. that’s why you also said you had an appointment.. Grow up Niti.. Keep dirty politics away) Are you trying to show your smart friends on this forum (who are giving examples of ‘chucking’ out someone) that you are even smarter?
After mentioning your smart tricks, your own line is “I HOPE I HAD MADE MYSELF CLEAR....” Yes Niti you made it very clear that you just want to play tricks rather than being proactive and gaining experience from the opportunities coming your way.
I fail to understand why you youngsters start complaining when you have to do a bit more? There is no shortcut to success. If you continue playing such tricks, I am afraid you’ll struggle to grow in your career.
5) Niti you yourself are saying that your colleague is also member of the blogging community. Then for any wise person it was not difficult to understand that your colleague must have stopped interacting with you not because of anything else but just because she must have got hurt after reading what kind of politics you are playing from your own blog and what kind of training you are being given by others.
6) Finally, success of an organization as well as the progress of the employees depend on the team spirit shown by them and not by the politics and grudges. I think this one liner is enough for you to make amendments.
I might have sounded harsh but I needed strong words to help a misguided and confused girl. I hope these words do the needful.
Sachin.
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