Hi Friend,
There is a saying, " First we make our habits and then our habits make us". Those people are habituated of using such abusive language. They lack moral education and human values. As an HR person you have responsibility to bring them back. Be aggressive but don't assume tit for tat could bring changes in their behaviour. Honesty is the best policy. If you treat them with honestly and professionally, later on they will understand and realise. And then there will be moral victory by you. I suggest you not to change your job. There are ups and down everywhere.
Regards
Dinamoni
From India, Calcutta
7There is a saying, " First we make our habits and then our habits make us". Those people are habituated of using such abusive language. They lack moral education and human values. As an HR person you have responsibility to bring them back. Be aggressive but don't assume tit for tat could bring changes in their behaviour. Honesty is the best policy. If you treat them with honestly and professionally, later on they will understand and realise. And then there will be moral victory by you. I suggest you not to change your job. There are ups and down everywhere.
Regards
Dinamoni
From India, Calcutta
Two months back I have joined a 15 years old Real Estate company as a Manager - HR .
Congratulations on the new job. its only 2 months into the job you got frustrated. I am sure the frustration you have got into the Job is reflecting against the seniors.
I am 30 years old.
I am sure you are an adult male. Have the guts to say to your senior people not to use abusive language.
Presently I am reporting to 5-6 senior people.
Why are you reporting to 5-6 people. Do you have an organisation chart showing the reporting structure & hierarchy
All are very abusive.
why you term them abusive. do u really deserve those abusive words. if not why bother those words. Just ignore it.
They all are non professional. Regularly they are using Maa aur Behen like Gaalis.
You cannot just like that say they are non professional only because they use abusive language...
I am belonging to a very respective family
Please, do you think others apart from you are not from respective families? In a working environment, it doesn’t matter which family you are whom, the work only matters,,,
and I cant tolerate such type of abusive language.
No one is asking you to tolerate
Kindly suggest what should I do in this type of situation. Should I leave the job or should I continue?
You are 30 years old, you are a Manager HR, minimum atleast 8 years experience you will have. Please Take your own decision & Stick to it..
I am very much upset because my previous organisation were very big and professional.
Dont Carry fairy tales. Previous company gone is gone...if you still like that company, go & join that company. Give your Heart & soul to the current company, concentrate only on your job, you will feel the difference..
Kindly guide me as soon as possible.
No one can guide. Its only suggesstions,,,
__________________
From India, Coimbatore
Congratulations on the new job. its only 2 months into the job you got frustrated. I am sure the frustration you have got into the Job is reflecting against the seniors.
I am 30 years old.
I am sure you are an adult male. Have the guts to say to your senior people not to use abusive language.
Presently I am reporting to 5-6 senior people.
Why are you reporting to 5-6 people. Do you have an organisation chart showing the reporting structure & hierarchy
All are very abusive.
why you term them abusive. do u really deserve those abusive words. if not why bother those words. Just ignore it.
They all are non professional. Regularly they are using Maa aur Behen like Gaalis.
You cannot just like that say they are non professional only because they use abusive language...
I am belonging to a very respective family
Please, do you think others apart from you are not from respective families? In a working environment, it doesn’t matter which family you are whom, the work only matters,,,
and I cant tolerate such type of abusive language.
No one is asking you to tolerate
Kindly suggest what should I do in this type of situation. Should I leave the job or should I continue?
You are 30 years old, you are a Manager HR, minimum atleast 8 years experience you will have. Please Take your own decision & Stick to it..
I am very much upset because my previous organisation were very big and professional.
Dont Carry fairy tales. Previous company gone is gone...if you still like that company, go & join that company. Give your Heart & soul to the current company, concentrate only on your job, you will feel the difference..
Kindly guide me as soon as possible.
No one can guide. Its only suggesstions,,,
__________________
From India, Coimbatore
Dear Mr. Sunil Kumar,
I think you are totally de motivated due to exiting factor because you are matching the present situation with your own believes. Yes it is difficult to change their attitude but as per my opinion you are in the right place to use your Skills, this situation is really interesting and you have got an opportunity to handle such situation effectively. My suggestion is ‘you enjoy with the situation and concentrate your-self in other developmental area. You create an environment like knowledge sharing, team sprit, people should socially, mentally, spiritually & physically strong of your organisation. As a HR man you should try to shift such paradigms. You know it is really possible, but need is think over it do not bother for their “abusive language“please give them full respect & recognition because they are seniors. It is true give respect & gets respect; you try to prove your-self professionally qualified person. Leaving the job is not the solutions. Be a Winner only.
Regards,
Ajay
__________________________________________________ _____________________
From India, New Delhi
I think you are totally de motivated due to exiting factor because you are matching the present situation with your own believes. Yes it is difficult to change their attitude but as per my opinion you are in the right place to use your Skills, this situation is really interesting and you have got an opportunity to handle such situation effectively. My suggestion is ‘you enjoy with the situation and concentrate your-self in other developmental area. You create an environment like knowledge sharing, team sprit, people should socially, mentally, spiritually & physically strong of your organisation. As a HR man you should try to shift such paradigms. You know it is really possible, but need is think over it do not bother for their “abusive language“please give them full respect & recognition because they are seniors. It is true give respect & gets respect; you try to prove your-self professionally qualified person. Leaving the job is not the solutions. Be a Winner only.
Regards,
Ajay
__________________________________________________ _____________________
From India, New Delhi
Dear Sunil,
Don't turn you back on the people who may have been instrumental for your employment, at least not before you give them a chance to turnaround. Remember, these people do not prevail as a vacuum. They are the product of the eco-system in which you are part of, now!
Yes, find the heart within you to forgive for their poor upbringing. It is now incumbent upon you as a change agent to initiate some progressive steps in addressing their behaviour. There are many ways to skin a cat, depending on the different personalities involved. It does not have to be all complex and complicated. Start with a simple meeting (can be individually or group) in bringing awareness on how "serious" their abusive language has affected your performance and values. This change effort is not about serving your personal needs but that of the organisation. Find and give them the reason why they, as leaders, need to change for the better. Coach them into asking, "what can you do to help them overcome this "unhealthy habit". Beware to focus on the misbehaviour not the personality!.
Can leopards change it's spots ?. This is where HR can demonstrate that such quotes takes a defeatist attitude deserving resemblance to managing the zoo. We are in the business of turning around the human species, not animals. If the great Mahatma could lead by way of some unconventional means to invoking the conscience and fire in the belly, why can't other leaders, including YOU ?.
Be inspired to be the HR Coach whenever you see the need to bring change in people. The world badly needs conscience in leadership. Only HR or those who believe in the human potential to change can help. Seize the opportunity to experiment your persuasion and negotiation skills. Fail, relearn and keep trying again using different approaches, until they change or you change the scene.
Parshant has given some good tips. I too, wouldn't advocate giving people some of their own medicine. Two wrong does not make one right.
From Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur
Don't turn you back on the people who may have been instrumental for your employment, at least not before you give them a chance to turnaround. Remember, these people do not prevail as a vacuum. They are the product of the eco-system in which you are part of, now!
Yes, find the heart within you to forgive for their poor upbringing. It is now incumbent upon you as a change agent to initiate some progressive steps in addressing their behaviour. There are many ways to skin a cat, depending on the different personalities involved. It does not have to be all complex and complicated. Start with a simple meeting (can be individually or group) in bringing awareness on how "serious" their abusive language has affected your performance and values. This change effort is not about serving your personal needs but that of the organisation. Find and give them the reason why they, as leaders, need to change for the better. Coach them into asking, "what can you do to help them overcome this "unhealthy habit". Beware to focus on the misbehaviour not the personality!.
Can leopards change it's spots ?. This is where HR can demonstrate that such quotes takes a defeatist attitude deserving resemblance to managing the zoo. We are in the business of turning around the human species, not animals. If the great Mahatma could lead by way of some unconventional means to invoking the conscience and fire in the belly, why can't other leaders, including YOU ?.
Be inspired to be the HR Coach whenever you see the need to bring change in people. The world badly needs conscience in leadership. Only HR or those who believe in the human potential to change can help. Seize the opportunity to experiment your persuasion and negotiation skills. Fail, relearn and keep trying again using different approaches, until they change or you change the scene.
Parshant has given some good tips. I too, wouldn't advocate giving people some of their own medicine. Two wrong does not make one right.
From Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur
Dear esskayhr,
Observations: By the way you have explained it, your employers must be a bunch of real estate agents who have suddenly become rich and joined together to make more money.
If I were you, I would quit. Because, mental peace is the most important factor which gives you happiness in life. After all our original and basic aim is only happiness.
You will be wasting yours and their time if you think that you can reform their 'way of life' just because you do not want to hear those words.
Course of action I would advise:-
1. Quitely search if your last job in the respectable company is available for you even at a lesser pay of say 10-20%. Because your earlier experience there will count.
2. Otherwise, search for any other suitable job if possible through a professional agency confidentially.
3. Now, for your next job, never ever bad mouth your present employers especially as a reason for changing your job.
4. Find out more about the origins of your present employers and warn and advise anyone who tries to join them in future.
But never, never, never give up.
prasad sn
Observations: By the way you have explained it, your employers must be a bunch of real estate agents who have suddenly become rich and joined together to make more money.
If I were you, I would quit. Because, mental peace is the most important factor which gives you happiness in life. After all our original and basic aim is only happiness.
You will be wasting yours and their time if you think that you can reform their 'way of life' just because you do not want to hear those words.
Course of action I would advise:-
1. Quitely search if your last job in the respectable company is available for you even at a lesser pay of say 10-20%. Because your earlier experience there will count.
2. Otherwise, search for any other suitable job if possible through a professional agency confidentially.
3. Now, for your next job, never ever bad mouth your present employers especially as a reason for changing your job.
4. Find out more about the origins of your present employers and warn and advise anyone who tries to join them in future.
But never, never, never give up.
prasad sn
Dear Mr Sunil
I would like to add to the suggesstions given above by all, I would suggest you to make a policy against usage of abusive and foul language in organisation. Then automatically they will come to know atleast if not by will by force they have to follow so that all others can follow them.
Warm Regards
Prajwal Boddu
I would like to add to the suggesstions given above by all, I would suggest you to make a policy against usage of abusive and foul language in organisation. Then automatically they will come to know atleast if not by will by force they have to follow so that all others can follow them.
Warm Regards
Prajwal Boddu
If you are confident of getting new job,u can quit this join the new job.
Don't try to change them finally u will end up with failure.
In this connection I wish all at CiteHR a Healthy, Happy, and Successful 2010.
Pandiyarajan
From India, Madras
Don't try to change them finally u will end up with failure.
In this connection I wish all at CiteHR a Healthy, Happy, and Successful 2010.
Pandiyarajan
From India, Madras
Dear Sunil,
I think Peer Mohammd has explained in a very straightforward manner your course of action.
You cannot expect all your experiences to be hunky-dory. You will have good days and bad. Good people and bad ppl and good & bad organisations - I think we are sometimes put in such situations to try and change it. I think you should take this as a challenge. What will you lose at the most?? Your job?? which anyways you dont really care about. I think you need to STAND up for YOURSELF and if necessary speak to the people on a one on one basis and tell them that this kind of language is causing you a lot of anguish. Let them know how you feel before you QUIT. Atleast then you will not have any regrets about leaving without TRYING.
Wishing you all the best in your efforts. There's nothing more rewarding than dealing with a challenging environment. You have to be the BAD guy to change people around you at times. Try it, there's no harm... DARKE JEENA BHI KYA JEENA HAI!!
Veena
From India, Mumbai
I think Peer Mohammd has explained in a very straightforward manner your course of action.
You cannot expect all your experiences to be hunky-dory. You will have good days and bad. Good people and bad ppl and good & bad organisations - I think we are sometimes put in such situations to try and change it. I think you should take this as a challenge. What will you lose at the most?? Your job?? which anyways you dont really care about. I think you need to STAND up for YOURSELF and if necessary speak to the people on a one on one basis and tell them that this kind of language is causing you a lot of anguish. Let them know how you feel before you QUIT. Atleast then you will not have any regrets about leaving without TRYING.
Wishing you all the best in your efforts. There's nothing more rewarding than dealing with a challenging environment. You have to be the BAD guy to change people around you at times. Try it, there's no harm... DARKE JEENA BHI KYA JEENA HAI!!
Veena
From India, Mumbai
Hi,
Its really difficult to change anybody's attitude , even that of ours, in a short span of time. But you can sure give it a try before zeroing down to the decision of calling it quits!
I think you should first pay attention to the fact that they use such an abusive language with all & sundry or specifically with you ! If its with you alone, then politely put it across to them that you are not comfortable with such language and will expect to be treated as a professional, else you would be forced to look out for a change. If they behave in such a manner with everybody, then as a Manager-HR, you can represent all employees and put across your point, on behalf of all the sufferers.
You can also let them know about the consequences of use of foul language as it may land them into trouble any-time. Once my boss shared an incident that how a foreigner posted as a Sr Manager at a reputed company in India faced a back-lash from laborers due to his habitual use of the word "bloody" and was posed with a threat to life at the time of workers agitation.At senior level, choice of words is very important and with the advancement in technology, people may resort to measures like "voice-recording on mobiles" etc. to keep it as an evidence in legal cases that are very common in the real-estate sector.
Besides, all this also has a bad impact on the overall morale & productivity of the company.
I think all these facts will make them think hard about changing them-selves, not for you, rather for them-seleves & their company. Moreover, they would be thankful to you for showing them the true picture. If they understand your point, then fine...else you can also keep scanning better opportunities and switch whenever you get the most suitable one.
From India, Delhi
Its really difficult to change anybody's attitude , even that of ours, in a short span of time. But you can sure give it a try before zeroing down to the decision of calling it quits!
I think you should first pay attention to the fact that they use such an abusive language with all & sundry or specifically with you ! If its with you alone, then politely put it across to them that you are not comfortable with such language and will expect to be treated as a professional, else you would be forced to look out for a change. If they behave in such a manner with everybody, then as a Manager-HR, you can represent all employees and put across your point, on behalf of all the sufferers.
You can also let them know about the consequences of use of foul language as it may land them into trouble any-time. Once my boss shared an incident that how a foreigner posted as a Sr Manager at a reputed company in India faced a back-lash from laborers due to his habitual use of the word "bloody" and was posed with a threat to life at the time of workers agitation.At senior level, choice of words is very important and with the advancement in technology, people may resort to measures like "voice-recording on mobiles" etc. to keep it as an evidence in legal cases that are very common in the real-estate sector.
Besides, all this also has a bad impact on the overall morale & productivity of the company.
I think all these facts will make them think hard about changing them-selves, not for you, rather for them-seleves & their company. Moreover, they would be thankful to you for showing them the true picture. If they understand your point, then fine...else you can also keep scanning better opportunities and switch whenever you get the most suitable one.
From India, Delhi
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